Friday, February 18, 2011

Wit's End

So, I was lying in bed last night awake…and my mind wandered as minds are wont to do in the wee hours of the night.
I decided that it might be prudent to do a small wit check on my blog now and then.
What's that?
Am I going to tell a joke periodically to see if I'm still, or ever, funny?
Um, no.
I crack myself up, don't get me wrong, but I"m not sure that translates into blogdom.

Nope, I'm talking about that whole concept of "keeping my wit's about me."
Yeah, you other middle aged gals, you know what I'm talking about.
Yup, I'm talking about losing my wits, my ability to be sharp.
Yuh, I see you Jon and Chris, I see you nodding…..see, this is what I'm talking about.

I'm 48, I know, how'd that happen?
And, I have a fear, based on nothing of substance, that I'm gonna lose my mind, or at least my sharpness. My folks are in their very late 70's and still sharp as ever.
You would think this would reassure me, and it does to a small degree.
But I've never done anything the easy way and so I know, in those wee hours of the morning, that it would hold to form that I would be the one of my five sibs to end up with early onset gaps.
Yeah, it's a pride thing to be sure; I have always been the queen of multitasking and juggling many things.  I still do all that but ever so much more poorly.
So. It could happen.
It might already be happening (hush boys).
Now I like to think that those little mishaps of oh, not recalling the kids names properly, or remembering where I set down my keys phone sunglasses pens paper book ipad glasses keys phone are normal…
But when I find them in the fridge (hush boys) or on my head then it's a whispered worry.
It would be a clanging worry but it seems I'm losing my hearing a bit too.

Tom says I'm just distracted and not focusing.
God bless that man I love him.
But I read this book and it put the irrational fear of losing my mind right in the forefront…until I forgot about it.

So, now and then I think I might be posting about this, and other sundry sagging things about aging.
Because it pops randomly into my mind, until I forget.
Which means I want to catch it when it passes through.
You youngsters will probably want to skip these posts as they pop up; because first they will bore you but second they might scare  you.  It's not pretty, aging.  It's a heel dragging slide downhill, physically speaking.  Sure, the tradeoff in contentment and wisdom is worth it, etc etc….but even so……those wee hours of the morning can be a worry.
So, I'm doing a check now and then, a little note to compare notes; to see if I'm at wit's end….and not the "end of my rope" version either.  We all know I hang on to that rope with a white knuckle grip anyhow, that's not any news.
But a systems check? Always worth it….
Think I'll go do a crossword now.
Words with Friends, anyone??

6 comments:

Nadja said...

Old age is not for sissies, and that's the truth.

Here's a tip: I never EVER read anything that threatens to disturb my peace. I read some apocalyptic novels last year and it had me weeping for the adulthood my kids would never see and making survivalist-type shopping lists (boy, am I glad I dropped that, or we'd be up to our ears in ammunition and toilet paper!)

coffeemom said...

Nadia you crack me up! I long ago stopped reading those too- same reason.
Thx for the support! Middle age isn't for sissies either!!!

Jenny said...

I totally agree with Nadja. Even if it might, kinda, sorta, maybe looks like it might disturb my peace, I run from it. My imagination can really scare me; it knows me well...which buttons to push, you know?

I'm a new follower from Catholic Mothers Online…come by for a visit and return the favor.

Cindy said...

Hey. Great post. You're not alone. I chalk it up to.... menopause. And I KNOW this too shall pass. I'm 49 and it's happening at my house too! Forgetting things, hard to concentrate. I was cooking dinner the other night and trying to talk to my husband at the time time. Didn't work. At all. Couldn't find the right word, then had to stop talking so I could stir the meat....

I'm trying to simplify my life and I've rearranged the dowstairs so now I have a room where I can go, close the door and be quiet if I want. Or scream into a pillow. Or run my brains out on the treadmill.

Then I pick my brains up and continue on with my life!

This too shall pass. This too shall pass....

Zoe said...

I feel like my brain started blanking out and getting fuzzy before I even hit 40! And all my friends in their 40s are paranoid they have early Alzhiemers. I'm convinced that, in the majority of cases, it is hormonal changes. A doctor who's practiced medicine for a long time told me that women also seem to have more anxiety beginning in their mid-30s, which he also attributes to subtle hormonal changes. I'm sure there are things we can do to help our brains and hormones go through this stage of life, in addition to cutting ourselves a break.

Jen said...

Love this post because I wake up this morning very crickety, and I am sure with a few more gray hairs. Aging is just humbling, but it beats the alternative:)