Monday, March 1, 2010

Great minds work together...

....and can accomplish great things.

To that end, I am giving a shout out to the whole adoption community: the families, the parents, the kids (young or grown), the pros, the educators....the ones in the trenches.


photo (c) Writers in the Schools 2007-2010
Brainstorming.
That's what's happening around here.
We want your ideas, requests, wishes.....what do you need, what do you want, what do you wish you could find when you're talking about resources AFTER you come home with your child?

My good friend and fabulous social worker is frustrated with the lack of extended post adoption resources around here, and, really, in general. Not only for the immediate post adoption needs...but the ones that are harder to pin down sometimes, the long term ones too. Because that cute little baby or toddler is gonna grow up into a middle schooler, a preteen, ack, a teen, and eventually an adult!

Please don't slough this off just on the placing agencies...think a minute. Goodness, we all know that post placement visits are mandatory and most all agencies are available for those calls of sheer confusion or just needing to check in...or, the ones of desperation. However, most of us don't make use of that built in resource. If you're like me, you tend to scavenge around on your own, and then wonder why you keep bumping into walls. I do, anyhow, mostly. And I'm kind of crazy resourceful, in general. So when I start beating the bushes and running into walls...you know there is a lack, a need, a gaping hole that needs to be filled.

Post Adoption Resources. It's a hole.

Yes, there are books. That's always a good start.
But I'm talking about someone, a real person or people, who you can connect with on the other end of the line or face to face real life and talk to about any or all questions you might have. Because it's easy to think that most issues or concerns fit into a tidy slot. But you know, when you're talking about families and kids, and specifically adoption issues of some kind...often they don't.
There is no one size fits all.

So, my terrific caring social worker, smart as a whip gal that she is....she wants to build up the resources. She really understands this stuff and it is her passion. As for me, I'm just glad she's got this idea tumbling around and the determination to make it happen.

So, let's help.
Please, in the comment box or my email or any which way you know how to reach me, send me your ideas, your wishes, your wants, your "gee why can't I find this" feelings on what would be great to be able to access in post adoption resources.
It can be anything that strikes you, that's what brainstorming is all about! Newbie parents, babies, toddlers, but also older kids, older child adoptions, school issues, cultural, medical, etc etc.....throw it out. Our list has already begun, and we want to grow it wide to see if that need can be met and how.

Here are few we already have on the list: Post Adoption Services/Resources:
therapy
tutoring
esl, private/group
mentoring (kid, mom, parents, family)
cultural connections, links
groups
advisor to IEP's and spec ed
Referral resources for all of the above as well as providing it, plus referral for medical, theraputic, educational, legal, assessment, translation professionals as well.


Any other ideas?
Any other wishes?
Like what you see/what's on the list now?
Here's your chance, tell us!
Even if it's just to say "yeah, that tutoring thing-I've been looking for that." Please tell us that too; then we can know what is most wanted too. />
Please, leave a comment, let us know, what you would like to see, locally, nationally, in person or online.
Help us start to fill a hole.



That way we can keep on helping each other.
That's really why we are all here anyhow, right?

10 comments:

emily said...

Great idea!!! Let me think a minute........

Adrienne said...

This is great! Since I am not "on the other side" yet, I don't know what I will need. But I trust all those who have gone before me and look forward to hearing more about this project!

♪~Jenn~♪ said...

YES!!! Support is soo very key. I was just talking last night about providing a "postpartum" Doula service for adopting families. There does seem to be a huge agpping hole where that type of service should be....or even the awareness that families will need them (so much focus on gatcha day or preconcieved notions of what things will be like) One request that I would say is to create a links/resource blog/website and have a wedgit that people could add to their blogs. that way when newbies (like me) are in the waiting stage or parents in the trenches are in need these things are easy to access.

Cheering you on!

Paula said...

Our social worker directed us toward a group of therapists who work almost exclusively with adoption and foster related issues with kids, especially attachment and bonding. They have saved my life! I wish there were services like that provided to everyone. We live in a rural area near a medium sized city, and I would love some way to meet other parents who have adopted from Ethiopia. There aren't that many here.

Andrea said...

In Columbus, Ohio a wonderful lady on her own started getting families who adopted/is adopting/or is considering adopting from Ethiopia together once a month at an Ethiopian restaurant for dinner.

For us, this is a great resource. We went before traveling and after. We look forward to these Sundays because it gives us family time and is good for Martin to know our family is just as 'normal' as anyone else.

And there is no better resource than other families who have or is experiencing the same ups & downs.

The Albertsons said...

great list! it's very thorough... can't think of much to add. I guess i would elaborate on the mentoring bit... having a list of local families who are willing to answer an email or phone call from another adoptive family in crisis or in need. Possibly several lists of families willing to be there for others... like (1) families who adopted physical special needs (2) families who adopted emotional/mental special needs (3) families who adopted children age 0-2 (4) families who adopted children age 3-6...
etc etc...
that way families in the midst of the process or home and needing support could start with a friendly voice of a family who had a very similar experience...
hope that helps?
b

Anonymous said...

what about aging issues, school enrollment and how to proceed with choosing an appropriate grade

coffeemom said...

Thank you all! Great ideas! I think the mentoring ones, becca, are very close to MY heart as well. I've used those exact things and those calls to my dear friends have helped me more than I can say. I hope to do that for anyone else needing it too....just fyi to anyone out there, I'm happy to listen and talk..... but all great suggestions and will add to our list. KEep them coming!

solas4me said...

Having adopted the strong willed toddler has been a challenge. We have gone through the "typical" toddler adoption scenarios, but have struggled with a lot that we never heard or read about prior to homecoming. Things like, how to handle the toddler who is defensive and a bit "rough". How do you deal with a bad attitude that was obviously there before placement and doesn't seem to be disappearing any time soon?
We longed to read some good, Godly council on these topics and found minimal info. It is great and a huge blessings to have great blogger friends (like you!) to go to for help, ideas, support, etc. Great idea on helping organize this! Melissa

Anonymous said...

How to make time for yourself as a mom, when you're helping the whole family adjust and you're not sleeping at night(because your newly adopted child is not)?
Also, how to make time for you marriage when you are both so tired and don't want to leave your newly adopted child?
thanks!