Saturday, September 12, 2009

Adjustment: Marking the Good

So, you all know we are at two months now. And I've written some, or a lot, about the difficulties and unexpected strangeness of it all: this process of weaving in a new, older child into the family.
I want to be honest about it all, because it helps me to process it and because I want others to know the real stuff: the good, the bad, the tough, the surprising.

But its too easy to focus on the surprising and the tough stuff and too easy to let the good slip. And so, to that end, I want to take a page from Mary's blog, one of my heroes, and make sure to mark the good. Publicly. So I don't forget and so you can be sure to see that there are good moments too. Little victories, in a way, no matter how small. Because in this process, even small things matter....sometimes much more than you might imagine.

Mary did this about a year ago: making posts to mark the good things of the week, so she would record them. And if I've got my memory and timing on track, I believe she too was adjusting to bringing older children to the family. I too, need to remember to do this. So, I will shamelessly steal her idea, with a hat tip to her for leading the way. And I will throw up one or two good things, when I can steal the time to load the picture and post it (not on a schedule or set number, I'm just not that organized, folks...I know my limits!).

So, here goes - with the caveat for you readers that these will all seem like minute dreary nothings to you perhaps. But in the world of weaving a family, they are milestones: happy important markers. And I want to remember ours.

While we had a very rocky end of the week with that whole "honeymoon" concept being clearly swept away....we finally ended the week on a note of laughter. And I am grateful. I think it was a relief to us all. Last night was a casual chips and sandwiches Friday night. Everyone was a little punchy after a long week, friends were over and it was a little wild and crazy overall. Somehow they starting making faces and rolling tongues and vying for who could make the "better" face, giggling and challenging each other. I thought Marta might be baffled by it, but then she joined in with her own, laughing, wanting a picture. The faces got goofier, wilder, the silly factor skyrocketed. And for a few minutes, it felt like a normal doofy family on a tired wild messy Friday night. Fun. I'll take it. Savor it. This face, this laugh. I will mark it.


graceling said...

This is not goofy at all, and I love that you posted it. These smiles are what sustain us, even when we are not making family adjustments, but just getting through life. This made us smile, too.

Here is a note from Anna:

ijoyuh7uhyj67u778889999hjjk mkokkkljjjjjjjjkkkl;;;;;''''sssjolpppppppp[]


emily said...

Good stuff that laughing. Praying it keeps up!!

The Albertsons said...

GREAT post!!!
i needed to read this today. need to mark the happy stuff in the midst of the storms. hard to remember sometimes... thanks!

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...


Thankfulmom said...

I'm just catching up on your blog after an unintentional blog-break. Adopting an older child is such a life-stretching experience. Our older daughter (nearly 11) has been home one year and I am in awe of what God has done in that short time. It has not been easy, but it has been good and I am so proud of her.


kristine said...

I love this post. Thanks. Thanks for your honesty too. I think being able to be silly together is no small thing. To be accepted even while we make ourselves look silly - lovely!

I hope this week is a bit more calm for you.

Ted and Lori said...

This post made me cry a little (and so thankful for Mary too)

Ted and Lori said...

Oh yeah, and I love all those labels ;)

Holly said...

I've been reading your blog for a few weeks now and this picture of Marta made me cry. She looks loved. Thank you for giving her, and the other children you have adopted, a place to be loved.