Monday, August 31, 2009


Or, more precisely, how to be UNpopular.

Just in case you were wondering how to achieve this famed state, I offer the following, with guaranteed results:

Tell boys they may not whack the heck out of each other with the sticks in the yard {playing, not fighting, but still...}.
Tell the wild man that he cannot skateboard off the brick stairs at any speed, especially not high speed.
Remind them to take their medicine even if its yucky.
Make soup for dinner.
Tell them no ice cream for breakfast.
Or lunch.
Tell them to turn off the tv.
Tell them to go outside and play.
Or do their homework.
Or that you quite ready and happy to go in and clean their rooms, without their help.Tell them that they cannot wear flipflops to Mass.
Make them salad with dinner, again.
Enforce the chore schedules.
Ask the daughter if she has cut her hair, again.
Tell the teen that she cannot wear makeup to the football game.
Then tell her she cannot wear makeup um, anytime, she's too young.
Then tell her that her nose is only a little bit broken and it is still cute (just a little crooked).
Go on a date with your husband, only.
Ask them to water the flowers and garden.
Consider, out loud, getting a giant Sprinter van.

Now these are only a random selection from the past two days. But, the list, it keeps on growing and growing...and I am an expert on this one!


msl said...

LOL!! So fun to be unpopular isn't it?!

Jen said...

I got a good chuckle out of this...I can add a whole bunch which you may not go out with your friends until 11-you have been sick for a week, no you can not buy the 320 dollar cleats, no, I can not make you something for lunch-but you can. Time to get on a starts next week :)

graceling said...

Thank you for these insights! I was working off of a few stand-bys here:

~ tell them that bed time means lights out, not get in bed and keep reading for an hour
~ tell them that bed time means "go to sleep" not jump up and down and climb up the bunkbeds
~ tell them that they have to eat their vegetables or there is no desssert.

Now I have a few more to add to my repitiore:)

Olivia said...
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Kristi J said...

that is hilarious...kristi

Sarah and Davis said...

That top picture cracks me up! We see that EXACT face from Eden every day. I thought she'd outgrow that scowl once her teeth were in. I guess not!

notjustlaura said...

Oh dear ... but I bet they love you for it ;)

Nadja Magdalena said...

I would add to this (for our house):
No taking the flashlights to bed;
Brush your teeth;
No eating chocolate milk powder out of the container with a spoon;
Time to start school;
No soda during the week:
No videos or dvds until after 3 p.m.;
Yes, you must join mama and papa for the Rosary;
Eat that vegetable.

The list could go on ad nauseum...

The Albertsons said...

okay that ROCKED!

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

Looks like I'm joining you on the unpopularity bench there!

Farmboy and Buttercup said...

OH, dear coffeemom. I love, love, love this post. Were you at my house when you came up with these???

Thanks for making these things humorous!

kristine said...

Brilliant! Would be brilliant without the photos but the photos are truly magnificent. Thank you so so so much for this.

I would add; yes you must take a shower/bath AT LEAST once a week. Yes, you must wash your hands before meals. Yes, you must practice reading books that you cannot yet read - reading the same book over and over does not count as 'practice.; yes you must set the table and clear the table.

very sweet and funny too! thanks for that.