Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Adoption. Why? Ever? Now?

Today I sat with Gabe. And for a long time, I held him. And I kissed his head, like this. Like I did when we were in Addis Ababa. When he was just learning, from scratch, that I was his mom and that I would be there - no matter what, forever.
And I had the time to think.

It's National Adoption Month. A month dedicated to raising awareness of adoption. And in one quick way, that makes me laugh because just by walking into a restaurant, my family raises awareness of adoption! And maybe not always as the best reps, if we are having a bad day, eh?

But as I said, today, as I had time to hold and comfort and kiss my baby boy, as he recovered from a small procedure, I had time to think about the whole concept: adoption, National Adoption Month and the whys of it all. Coffeedoc too was with me and we had time to talk around this, one more time.
Obviously, adoption is a topic dear to our hearts. And the concept of raising awareness through a month dedicated to it is a grand idea. Typically it is fleshed out and presented as a (falsely) 'noble" thing or a great service to waiting kids, another option for unplanned pregnancies. And that is all good. This month of PR gets the faces of kids out there into the media and world of the forgotten ones, the ones who just need a family.
But, the high concept begs the smaller question.
Why?
Not why in the big societal picture (that's still big question 'why').
That is well documented and presented.
But, smaller:
Why? Why me? Why you? Why now? Why ever?
Why bother? Why risk? Why struggle, spend, split open your life?
And as I smelled his head and felt this sweet boy's weight in my lap, breathing easy and still deeply sleeping, I thought about why adoption is so important on a small intimate level. I thought about one of the real deep reasons "why" for me.
Because raising these kids, loving them, working for them, fussing at them, doing for them, breathing in their smell at the top of their head as they sleep is everything.

It saves me.
It saves me from myself.

When I am doing it right, and that is really not nearly often enough, adoption, the mothering, saves me from myself.
{It's almost a prayer: "Save me from myself O Lord!"}

And that's a good (ok, it's critical)enough why, for me, for now, for ever.

13 comments:

m&r said...

what a lovely post! (and a lovely family)

Owlhaven said...

LOVE that first picture!!!!!!!!!!


Best

Mary

msl said...

What a beautiful post. Thank you.
Hope Gabe is doing OK.
M.

ashley said...

Love this. There is no better time to reflect and think than those quite times with a little one in your lap, fast asleep. I also love the pic on the swing, too cute!

Jim and Ryane said...

What a beautiful family! Thanks for this reminder.

Ryane

The Albertsons said...

yep. We all need saving :). Interesting how God chooses to save some of us from our own ugly hearts...
i so love my babies... (sam can stand on his own now... not walking quite yet, but oh so close!)...
love you
becca

The Roberts Family said...

Hope your little man is doing well! :) Arsema hardly made it through a well-check the other day. S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y. I almost joined her frantically screaming! It was pure horror on her face .... like a flood of memories overtook her. I promised her we'd do our best to not go back for a very long time! :)

How's the paper progress coming along? Blessings, Shelly

Rebecca said...

I love this post. I'm going to share it with some of our friends who are considering adoption. What a beautiful family you have!

Anne Marie said...

Hi, I found your blog via Jennifer’s Favorite Links. You touched on a reaction I am always uncomfortable when discussing our son’s adoption, the notion that somehow we are “noble” or especially praiseworthy for having adopted him, and how fortunate he is to be in our family.

It’s a nice enough sentiment, but frankly far from my experience. We are the fortunate ones, my husband and I. We have been blessed with a wonderful boy, and it’s my very good fortune to have been chosen by God to be his mother, not the other way around.

Thank you for sharing your journey.

Lori S said...

We don't have our girls yet, but have made our adoption journey known in our community in an effort to raise awareness. Sometimes when I'm out with our 3 year old, Emma, I hope that others aren't watching me as an example of the way things should be done!! (o:

Thanks for sharing!

Natalie Fournet said...

You have such a way with words...and a beautiful way of getting to the heart of it all. Thanks for sharing.

Ted and Lori said...

Yet another post worthy of printing out and hanging on the wall.

Holli said...

POWERFUL!